ouran high school host club fanficMafia Madness p
by walkin-proud
Summary: The Host Club puts together a Mafia act to draw in customers. A teacher walks in on their final showdown and threatens to close the club!


Ouran High School Host Club-Mafia Madness Part One

"Sorry I'm late!" The door of the Third Music Room was flung open and a rather short boy stood on the doorstep, panting. Six other boys who had been hunched over some papers on the table with looks of concentration on their faces glanced up, and looked back down again. One of the boys picked up a clipboard and made a note on it. "Fujioka Haruhi, latest member to join the Host Club. Is actually a female masquerading as a male to hide the fact that she has the hots for half the girls in the school, with their long, silky tresses, captivating eyes, curvaceous bodies and…"

Haruhi strode up to the boy and snatched the clipboard away from him. "Shut the hell up, Hikaru. I am not a lesbian."

Another boy cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses, which were slipping down his nose. "Ah, Haruhi… If you don't mind, that's my clipboard. And would you care to explain why you're late for our meeting again?"

"I was on duty today," Haruhi explained, quickly returning the clipboard to him. "You can ask the twins."

"Mori-senpai was on duty as well, but him and Hani-senpai both made it on time. According to my records, this is the third time you're late. I'll add another twenty thousand yen to your debt."

"What?!" Haruhi and Tamaki exclaimed simultaneously. "But Kyoya-senpai--"Haruhi began. "KYOYA! As Haruhi's loving father, I won't have you bullying her!" Tamaki butted in, slamming both hands on the table and causing the papers to flutter to the ground like a shower of white butterflies. "She's only a kid; if you keep punishing her like this she will shun you in her teenage years!"

"Tamaki-senpai, how many times do I have to tell you that I'm not your daughter?"

"A rejection if there ever was one," Kyoya pronounced. "Haruhi has refused your help, Tamaki. So that'll be twenty thousand yen."

"I can't figure out Kyoya-senpai's logic," Haruhi muttered bitterly as she slipped into the empty seat beside Kaoru. She did her best to ignore the aura of depression emanating from the corner Tamaki had taken refuge in.

"Well, since the President is too busy moping to explain what's been going on, I'll take over." Kyoya gathered up the papers and placed them in the centre of the table. "These are the suggestions of the rest of the Host Club members for our next theme. Haruhi, you're the only one who hasn't made a contribution, but I understand that it's important for you to maintain your position as the top of the level or risk losing your scholarship, so I won't pressure you to come up with ideas. Of course, time management would help you juggle the Host Club and schoolwork…"

Haruhi was just counting the number of insults he had managed to hurl at her with this simple sentence, when Hani-senpai, the cutest and shortest member, pushed his pink rabbit in her face. "Haru-chan, Haru-chan! You've gotta hear Takashi's and my idea! Our theme is 'cute animals'. All of us will put on either bunny or chick costumes, and we'll decorate the music room like a green field, serving the girls drinks while they play with real bunnies and chicks!"

"It's our turn now!" Hikaru and Kaoru produced a black suit and a gun which looked extremely real. "We've decided on a Mafia theme, and there'll even be a mini skit with Tono as the lead. We're working on the script, but don't worry, you won't have to act, because you look like a block of wood on stage…"

"Haruhi! I guarantee you'll fall in love with Daddy's idea!" Tamaki had made a miraculous recovery and was spinning around on the swivel chair, completely out of touch with reality. "I've decided on a futuristic theme! We'll all dress up in clothes produced by the twins, except for me, because I'll be the robot who has never known love and is losing his mind over a fair maiden, played by YOU!"

Haruhi looked towards Kyoya, who shrugged. "I usually take the backseat role in this type of thing, because Tamaki's the President, after all. If the Vice-President were to steal his glory, it wouldn't be good for business. So which theme will it be?"

"You're letting me choose?"

"Well, sure. Ideas like Tamaki's for example, are completely unfeasible because they would give away your true identity. That would result in a huge drop in the Club's profits, because quite a lot of girls are attracted to your natural ability to charm people."

"Uhh… In that case, I pick the Mafia theme."

"YES!" Hikaru and Kaoru slapped palms and started dancing around Tamaki's chair. "Haruhi likes us moarrr… Haruhi likes us moarrr… Tono is a loser!"

"All right, we're doing the Mafia theme a week from now. Hikaru, Kaoru, please go get the costumes based on everybody's measurements and polish up the script, which you will pass to Hani and Mori-senpai. Once you two receive the script, please get the equipment ready. I have a feeling it'll involve guns, so purchase them. Haruhi, I want you to work with me on designing and distributing the flyers as teasers for the big event."

"What about Tamaki-senpai?"

Kyoya and Haruhi glanced at the huddled form of the club president, and could practically hear the jeers of the twins echoing inside his head. "Well, he's the one drawing 70 of our customers, so he can take a break from the administrative stuff."

A week from that meeting, a horde of girls rushed to the third music room, their footsteps making pattering sounds on the tiled floor. They pushed open the door, hands trembling with anticipation of another meeting with the bishonens of the Host Club, knowing that they could not claim any member as their own, but still eager to hear the declarations of everlasting love delivered from the perfect mouths of the members, or more specifically, Suou Tamaki.

"Welcome." Today, the Host Club did not deliver a flamboyant greeting, and the music room's décor did not make them swoon. The atmosphere was rife with tension, like a fraying wire about to snap in two, and bloodlust, as though the members were one step away from pulling the triggers of the guns they held in their hands.

The girls exchanged glances and started to edge slowly out of the room. "Umm… Sorry…We must have the wrong room… AAHH!" They jumped as Tamaki moved out of his pose and jumped in front of Hikaru, as planned. "Do not fear, ladies! Today, our theme deviates from the usual lighthearted ones, but we want you to experience the combined power of the Mafia and love! When a Mafia member falls in love with a lady… What will he do to get her? What if the lady already has a man in her life? What if that man happens to be the boss of all the gangs and will not hesitate to crush his fragile life? Will love or survival instinct prevail?" He jumped again, this time landing in front of the most terrified-looking girl and took her hand. "_Anche se sto fissando giù il barilotto di una pistola, non è la mia vita che infiammi prima dei miei occhi, ma i tempi che quella i ha passato con voi."_(Evenif I am staring down the barrel of a gun, it is not my life that flashes before my eyes, but the times that I spent with you)

The girl seemed to melt under Tamaki's intense gaze. He smiled at her, then lifted his head and aimed the smile at the rest of the girls. "Let the play begin."

Each of the girls received a programme booklet that Haruhi and Kyoya had worked on. Both of them were in the show, the twins disregarding Haruhi's protests that she wasn't meant for the theatre and that playing a girl, even one who was supposedly as tough as any man in the Mafia, was too risky. Mori showed them to their seats, looking resplendent in his suit and tie, and even Hani did not give off such an adorable air.

Haruhi adjusted her wig, which was slipping. She had never really been one for acting, but this play seemed to be very well-received by the girls, who had gasped, cried and cheered at all the appropriate parts. Now came the final scene, where Kyoya (the big boss) and Tamaki (the lovesick protagonist) met on the roof to talk things out. Tamaki opened his mouth to speak, but Kyoya pulled out his gun and fired. Tamaki stumbled, clutching at his chest, which was bright red (courtesy of a paint bullet). She was happy that the twins hadn't given her many lines, and was just making a mental note to thank them later when the girls gasped. However, they were not looking at the stage, but at the door of the music room, which had burst open, revealing a very angry teacher.

"What is the meaning of this, Suou?" the teacher demanded, glaring at Tamaki. The music room was empty except for the eight of them, the girls having evacuated the place at once. "I didn't know there was such a violent club in the school! Fancy putting up a drama like that for all those girls…"

"But Sensei, it's only a paint bullet!" Tamaki pointed to the red patch on his suit. "And we aren't a violent club; it's just that we were going for something different."

"I don't want to hear any more excuses! You're all top students in the level, and this is a really bad example you're setting for the rest of the school. Especially you, Suou. Being the Chairman's son doesn't make you above the rules. I'm going to talk to him and have this club abolished!"

--END--


End file.
